SAFETY IN BEING DIFFERENT
know pain, fear, loneliness, homelessness; I’ve been raped, and seen the
darkness that consumes people when they voice epithets like “Retard!”
can this be? I’m just a quiet, middle-aged citizen happily living in a small
home high in the Colorado mountains with my partner of the last 10 years and a
couple of cats and a cockatiel (who’s sitting on my shoulder as I type this). I
see more elk and mule deer during the day than cars or people.
survived the outside world long enough to make it here, to safety and the peace
of solitude, and found the protection of my fierce Susan (a Black Belt in
TaeKwonDo, and EMT, with a day job in the corporate world).
wasn’t always so serene.
see, I’m permanently disabled from and industrial accident that let me with a
speech impairment and some motor skills deficits, and I’m a (rather recently)
post-operative transsexual (I was born intersexed, and some 40 years ago,
doctors tried to make me a boy… and failed).
darkest sides of the outside world have tried to shame me, destroy me, and “put
me in my place.”
TS and a lesbian has meant that I had no champion when I would be found beaten
to a pulp, or cornered by raging, clean-cut white men and women because I had
trouble walking and talking.
all but given up hope when Susan and I met. She is ferociously protective, and
she helped me to believe that I had a value in life, to the degree that I now
own, shoot (with my local IDPA club), and am licensed to carry a pistol. I spend
a lot of time working with other women who’ve survived rape, or feel threatened,
to reclaim that sense of self-worth in any degree that I am welcome or sought
out – because no one before Susan ever told me that I had a natural right to
live, and contribute to life.
November of last year, while I was filling up my old 4WD at the local store, I
was confronted by a younger white man who was 6’1’’ and easily 200lbs, shaved
head, wearing camo pants and a muscle tee. His shiny newer 4WD had decals of the
Flag, a branch of the military, and a national pro-2A organization along with a
bumper sticker that said “America: Love it or leave it!” I was dressed in clean,
ironed jeans, a long-sleeved tee, and a denim jacket. I wore no cosmetics, my
long hair was just brushed and in a pony tail, and my only jewelry was a
moonstone pendant and two rings that Susan had given me. (I apologize, but going
into such detail, I hope to illustrate that I was hardly somehow appearing
“flamboyant,” or some such) He did several double-takes and then stared for a
moment, getting red in the face.
walked the 20ft towards me, with his right arm cocked into a punch, and, some
6-8ft away, screamed “Faggots and retards like you don’t belong up here in God’s
country!!!” and kept approaching.
no doubt but that in the next moment I was going to be violently assaulted. I
knew that I couldn’t possibly outrun him, and I was a good 75ft from safety (?)
of the inside of the gas station. I did the unexpected:
smiled joyously at him, reached inside my coat and snapped the Galco SS2
shoulder rig, got a firm grip on my Glock 21 (loaded with Federal 230gr
Hydra-Shoks), and turned to face him! HE froze- stock still, and turned ashen
gray. I smiled sweetly, and said “I don’t mind, but I think you should go home,
Honey.” Shaking visibly, he walked back to his shine 4WD and drove off, heading
out of the mountains.
believe my life has worth now, and I’ll never be afraid of knowing that I have
no other option but to get beaten or raped again, because I’ll never be unarmed
you personally aren’t comfortable with Lesbians, Gays, or Transsexuals; or even
people who might have trouble walking, talking; or people who somehow just seem
diversity, we have strength.
a 1st generation American, and my family is from North Finland. Otherwise, the
Divide-and-Conquer mentality of the liberal Socialists will win the field.
you have friends who identify with the LBGT community, ask to speak to their
support groups on gun rights, and invite them to learn to shoot.
don’t need “Hate Crimes” laws.
need a Vermont-Style National Right-To-Carry, Shall-Issue law.